Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Getting Through

Ok,
So I haven't posted in a while, and it's partly because the last time I posted I said I was going to write about the rest of that trip, and I decided later that I didn't really feel like it, and partly because I've been lazy and bored and haven't felt like there was much to write about. So I'm going to write about that...

So school ended and the teachers said things about how the program has helped their school and then there was nothing for me to do. I spent a couple days in my room doing very little, and when I left my room I felt like my host mom was judging me for having been in my room all day, which meant that the next day I left my room even less often (at least not into the house). Now she probably wasn't judging me, but I was already feeling guilty about not doing anything, so I felt that way about it, plus she's often in a negative mood anyway, so she might just be frowning about that.

So anyway, that was a vicious cycle, but I sort of got out of it. Went on a visit to Todos Santos for All-Saints Day, but ended up back at my house with nothing to do again. This time I had a game-plan, but my game-plan started with some internet research, and right when I was about to start it the power went out, and it stayed out for 8 hours... So I lay in bed and did nothing. Unfortunately that day coincided with the day after I got news about a death in the U.S., so once I stopped having something to do I spent a lot of time grieving. Of course that's okay, but it might have been better if I had been out and about a little. Anyway, at that point I just started looking to the next week as my salvation, because I was going to leave for my vacation to the U.S.

In the next week nothing important happened that I can remember, and I am now in the U.S. writing this post on fast internet, which is nice, but distracting. In Guatemala I could write part of a blog entry while I waited for pages to load, but here I try to do that and end up reading the whole page. I had some culture shock when I got back, the biggest at first being that people weren't looking at me. In Guatemala someone is almost always staring at me, unless I'm locked in my room, so when I got to the airport in Houston and no one was looking at me, it felt a little strange. I started looking around the room, trying to spot the person who was sneakily looking at me, but I couldn't find them. Then I drank from a water fountain, and it was really fantastic. Speaking English is weird, too, but the problem is that I still want to be practicing Spanish, so I prepare Spanish in my head before asking questions of strangers, and then I can't use it.

Now I've been back for almost two weeks and I'm getting ready to go back again. I'm hoping to make some changes when I get back to be happier with my living situation, but regardless I'm looking forward to seeing my friends again for In Service Training the day after I return.
That's all for now, just be glad I wrote anything at all.